Johnny Depp and Angelina Jolie. Paris and Venice. Gangsters with detectives right on their tails. Chases. Gun fights. What could go wrong? Oh, you'll find out if you go see The Tourist, which does everything it can to squander everything it seemingly has going for it.
Depp, in one of the most ridiculous bits of casting I've seen in a long time, plays a college math instructor from Wisconsin. At this point in his career, I'll accept him as a pirate and a candy factory owner, but he's way too famous to play someone so mundane. Jolie's Elise is instructed by her boyfriend to take a train to Venice and find a guy who looks like him to throw off the gangsters he stole billions from. Throw in some investigators in on the chase, and watch the wackiness.
Or don't. I directed a play in my youth that was once described by a critic as "a funeral procession caught in rush hour traffic." The Tourist is the cinematic version of that. The story and set pieces are ridiculous, and should have been handled as the goof that they are. But what should be light and fun is slow and boring. Depp and Jolie have NO chemistry, which could not be more surprising. It's really all a waste of your time. You're better off visiting another theater.