Noah Movie Reviews
User reviews on Noah
I give this movie - 5 stars. I completely disagree with the gentleman who stated it "seemed accurate according to old testament accounts". A hopeless Noah who makes decisions based on his own understanding instead of God's, and who is, at times, on the verge of insanity; rock monsters--who were originally fallen angels (AKA demons)--are portrayed as trying to help humanity; stowaways; unwed and even too-young-to-be-wed sons; Noah constantly stepping out onto the "deck" of the ark. Even a scene that is in scripture--Noah being drunk and found by his sons naked--inaccurately leads one to believe that the son who left, went away because he was mad at Noah for disallowing a young, "pure" woman to come onto the ark as his wife. Good grief! Such silliness! I saw a clip of the ark-building technicians who insisted that they where true to scripture in the building of the ark. HELLO... isn't being true to the story more important?? I didn't expect the movie "Noah" to be entirely scriptural. But, THIS was a work of fiction. It should have been presented as such.
Just to get this out of the way - I am not religious and therefore have no expectation that a biblical movie would stick to the "facts", there are none. I only went because a young lady felt my cerebral and her heart perspectives might have interesting interaction with the film.
We were both bored to tears, in fact she took a call then went into another movie to see if it was better. I stuck it out, usually awake.
There was one perfect line in the movie - after an hallucinogen has revealed the future and a seed instantly sprouts water and forest and rock-monsters build an arc and every animal and critter magically appears in twos and smoke puts them into suspended animation but doesn't affect humans and a mob carrying corrugated sheet-metal roofing for protection has failed, but for one to mount the ark and he gets inside it - after all that, which was all taken in stride - upon finding out that the "barren woman" has become pregnant, Noah moans incredulously:
"But that's IMPOSSIBLE!!!!!"
For fans of mythical action films, like Jason or Clash of Titans, this might rate a 3 maybe even 4 star. But for cerebral and heart based humans I have to agree with one commentator, we need a sub-star category. Or maybe it was a comedy? There is that one good line.
I brought some HS kids that I teach who have no biblical knowledge of the account.It was a joke and what a waste of money.I couldn't of made up a worse story of this account.However,I was able to critique the whole movie to my kids and give them the true Biblical,historical account.I at least salvaged that dignity!!
This must have been written by the Anti-Christ. I could not believe the transformer rocks. The Bible tells us we must not add to, or take away from the Word of God. After reading some of the review I could see that some of the people were looking at this movie as how it happened. Please, I would love everyone to pick up their Bible and read the real story. It was a story of God's showing favor for someone because of their goodness. God only wanted to destroy the earth because of the evil. That is what is in the world today and in this movie. It was a waste of my money and time.
This was a HORRIBLE movie. What bible did they read? Rock monsters? REALLY?! Worst movie I've ever seen. If it would let me I'd rate is a sub zero star
I never thought that I would use the word blasphemous in my life, but there is no other way to describe it. The movie was horrible and I could not wait for it to be over. The only facts that you may find historically correct in this movie are:
the name Noah
Outside of that, all other facts were crazy. The very few facts that are in the Bible were not used. Hollywood also made Noah to be a psycho.
Most sorry movie I ever saw. Hollywood should be ashame of themselves. Wish I never spent the money.
What a waste of money and time .. I thought I'm gonna watch something as good as titanic or gladiator .. I left the theater 45 mins before the movie ends .. very very very boring .. zero stars.
If you believe in rewriting the Constitution and the Bible, books that are there for us to be guided by, and not changed willy nilly, then you're going to really hate this movie. I don't care how much computer work is done in a movie, if it isn't good (like here), then even a little bit can spoil the movie. In Noah, this was a disaster from start to finish.
They really should have named it something different and changed God to Space Aliens, then it would've been a lot easier to swallow.
Overall - Ugh!!!
Absolutely horrible! They made Noah look like a fumbling idiot, chasing down his daughter-n-law trying to murder her twin babies because God said only a certain amount could live. He doubted God in the movie and had no hope. The worst part was the rock monsters with glowing eyes who helped build the ark! Say what???????????????????? What the heck? This was more science fiction then biblical. Who came up with rock monsters???? I couldn't believe my eyes! Worse movie ever! The only thing that resembled the bible story was the name Noah, an ark, rain, and the dove. And get this! The villain in the movie even stowes away with them on the ark after the earth has flooded and Noah's son helps plan his father's murder! Say what? Horrible movie!!!! Don't waste your precious money. I want mine back!
This was the worst representation of a bible story I have ever seen. Did you know that it only took about 40 days for a woman to have twin daughters. Transformer like rock people chipped in to help build the ark and help Noah defend it from the rest of the people in the area. Only the wife of one son accompanied Noah so there were no other women to carry on the human race guess we are a pretty incestuous people. Anyway it gets a big thumbs down from my limited knowledge of the bible
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