• Today, I went to the movies with the girl I liked. She kept on eating my popcorn so I whispered in her ear “Pretty soon you’re going to have to repay me with kisses.” Then she looked at me and walked out the theatre. She came back with a bucket of popcorn and said “Here, you’re repaid.”

• Today, I went to the movies with my boyfriend. We went inside the theatre and he saw a couple of his friends. Instead of saying hi and coming back to watch the movie with me, he ditched me for them. When I reminded him he was forgetting something, he grabbed the popcorn out of my hands and left.

• Today, I went to the movies with my boyfriend. We went inside the theatre and he saw a couple of his friends. Instead of saying hi and coming back to watch the movie with me, he ditched me for them. When I reminded him he was forgetting something, he grabbed the popcorn out of my hands and left.

• Today, I was on a first date with a girl at the movies. Trying to be polite, I held in a fart until an intense, loud action scene came on. As soon as I let go, the scene went silent and my fart was clearly heard to everyone in the movie theatre. My date went to the bathroom. She didn’t come back.

• Today, I got the courage to ask my mom if I could go to the movies alone on my first date with my new boyfriend. She said ok, which was surprising because she never lets me go anywhere alone. When I got to the theater with him I saw my mom. She had saved seats for us.

• Today, this guy and I went on a date to the movies. We got up to the desk and I asked for one ticket for ‘Jennifer’s Body.’ The guy moved his way in front of me and said, “make that two tickets.” He then walked away to look at movie posters and left me with the $22.50 charge.

• Today, my best friend and I went to the movies. There was a hot cashier, so I thought it would be cool to talk in a British accent to try and be sexy. I walked up and started talking when he interrupted me and said in a very heavy British accent, ‘I know you’re faking. You can stop now.’

• Today, I went to the movies alone after the boy I was seeing told me he was busy studying for exams. I found him making out with another girl whilst in the queue. When I confronted him by text he denied that it was him. I saw him check the text and reply.

• Today, I was at the movies. All of a sudden, the woman next to me starts laughing uncontrollably and talking to her friend during the movie. This continued throughout the movie, ruining it. I turned and whispered to my friend. The woman then taps me on the shoulder and yells, “Shut the fuck up!”

• Today, I went to the movies. After it was over I got up and noticed a designer purse sitting on the ground in the back row. I opened it to look for anything that could give me a address so I could return it. The owner came back, assumed I was robbing her, and punched me in the nose.

• Today, my sister told my mother how she saw our neighbor’s son at the movies with a girl and that they were kissing. My mother proceeded to say that any girl willing to date someone so ugly must have self esteem issues and they laughed. I’m his girlfriend, my sister didn’t recognize me.

• Today, during the trailer at the movies, my boyfriend elbowed me in the ribs and smiled during an ad for a weight loss institute.

So, how was your day?

Love,

Mrmovietimes.com

Gnar Wars by Mike Benson from Mike Benson on Vimeo.

Just in time for the season Star Wars themed snowboarding at Mountain High.  Directed by Mike Benson. Starring Casey Wrightsman, Geoff Isringhausen, Cory Whetstone, Nick Sibayan, and Eric Miranda.

Sadly we could not get David Marceau, the greatest snowboarding Jedi (in this universe at least) in the video.

After poring through the archives we came to the obvious conclusion that the style and grace of Kermit the Frog continues to influence a new generation of Hollywood’s leading men.

Observe:

1. No matter how much blood is lost, no one can die by a nosebleed.
2. (The same theory above applies to vomiting.)
3. The girl with the curly hair is always the seductress.
4. If a sister falls in love with her brother, somewhere down the line you will discover that they’re not blood related.
5. The guy in the baseball cap is always more powerful than he seems.
6. All demons/monsters have enormous genitalia.
7. All young children can pilot mecha, you just need to give them a few days.
8. It is possible to incorporate martial arts into any aspect of life.
9. All high school kids in Japan have parents that are away on extended business trips.
10. The oldest sister is the nice one, the youngest sister is the brash one.
11. You can do anything to the human body as long as you hit the right pressure point.
12. Consuming enormous amounts of alcohol daily will never have ill effects.
13. All major villains either want to take over the world or blow it up.
14. When someone paints up their face, they mean business.
15. Everyone in Japan has excellent singing voices.
16. No matter how many times you rebuild, Tokyo keeps getting destroyed in a massive fireball.
17. The martial arts expert is always defenseless against a slap from the girl who loves him.
18. TAKAHASHI’S LAW 1: Food is a powerful motivator.
19. When women are sent out to fight the bad guys, there’s always a hunk busily watching over them, often in secret.
20. The longer it takes to say what your punch is called, the less effective it is.
21. “Baka” does not mean a student going for his baccalaureate degree.
22. The more possessive a woman gets, the less likely she will end up with the man of her dreams.
23. TAKAHASHI’S LAW 2: The two-foot-tall old geezer is someone to be feared.
24. No matter how big the mech/labor/mobile suit is, if it runs around the corner, the guy chasing it loses the trail.
25. Extraterrestrial, demons, time travelers, etc. all want to alter the course of history by letting Oda Nobunaga win.
26. The fate of the planet rests in the hands of the seemingly normal high school student.
27. The heroine must shred her clothes while transforming into something to fight the bad guys.
28. True evil can never be destroyed, only banished to some nether realm where it awakes after a few hundred years.
29. TAKAHASHI’S LAW 3: When being hit on the head, it’s the most natural thing in the world to tuck your third and fourth fingers in while keeping the others extended.
30. Even the bravest souls can be made weak and helpless by the sight of a cute little puppy or kitten.
31. Never love a Gundam pilot : you’re just destined for disappointment (or a funeral).
32. All persons under the age of 50 can do a ten foot vertical jump from a standing position.
33. Never trust a guy with shiny teeth
34. ESP causes more trouble than it solves
35. The vampire isn’t _always_ the bad guy
36. Nice things can come out of video stores that appear from nowhere
37. Idiot captains win battles against impossible odds
38. Order takeout at every opportunity–you might get lucky with a wrong number.
39. The police are never anywhere there is a large amount of property damage.
40. All high school principals in Japan are clinically insane.
41. All people with esper powers give off multicolored auras.
42. Just about any outer space villain has his sights set on destroying the Earth.
43. (in conjunction with #92) No other planet in the universe will be able to stop said villain except the Earth.
44. Any character can make a leap of 300 ft or more if given a good running start.
45. A samurai sword can cut through anything.
46. All characters over the age of 60 shrink in height in direct proportion to their age.
47. When uncovering a fabulous treasure, the thing will be large enough to completely destroy any surrounding structures.
48. TAKAHASHI’S LAW #4: An anti-climax is a good climax.
49. Anime villians have the best deaths.
50. Any love interest will always be possesed by a demon.
51. Mallets can be stored anywhere on anybody.
52. If the anime has the word “idol” in the title, then you know that it has to be good.
53. Takada Yumi really does sing that bad, and people still buy her CDs.
54. If you make enough porno movies, eventually you can get famous enough to star in commercials. “Iijima Ai desu! ‘Manga manga no mori mori!!’”
55. There is no such thing as a public anime showing without heckling.
56. You can spot how popular a show is by looking at the number of H doujinshi it has.
57. The smartest people on r.a.a. never post, which is why the conference’s overall IQ is so low.
58. If the lyrics to the OP song are printed on the screen, then you’re watching a show that’s not for your age group.
59. The sexiest girls are drawn by artists whose last names start with “U”.
60. The English words in Jpop songs are put there only because they sound good, since they don’t make any sense with the rest of the lyrics.
61. If you post on the MLs more than Hitoshi does, then you probably post too much.
62. The hero always loses the first fight with a new enemy.
63. The guys with two earrings are from the Negaverse.
64. Don’t trust the guys with two earrings.
65. Any truly evil person who changes sides for the woman he loves will die in that episode.
66. You CAN do it, but only when it’s funny or REALLY important.
67. You can never have too many carrots.
68. Hair comes in every shade of the rainbow – and we do mean pink, purple, blue, green….
69. The song “Cry Me a River” takes on a whole new meaning.

Sadly we all know that times are tough these days, but when we see a brave Mandalorian warrior and skilled bounty hunter like Boba Fett asking for change on the street then we know the economy is really in a nose dive.

BLOCKBUSTER Total Access gives you movie night, any night

BLOCKBUSTER Total Access gives you movie night, any night

Frustrated temporary secretary Julie Powell embarks on a year-long culinary quest to cook all 524 recipes in Julia Child’s Mastering the Art of French Cooking. She chronicles her trials and tribulations in a blog called “The Julie/Julia Project: Nobody here but us servantless American cooks”.

Julie & Julia covers the years Julia Child and her husband spent in France during the 1940s and 1950s. With her husband working at the American embassy, Child decided to dive into cooking classes at the famed Cordon Bleu to fill her days.

The movie shuttles back and forth between Julie’s year of obsessive compulsive cooking and blogging in Queens in 2002 and Julia’s discovery of French cuisine half a century earlier, as recounted in “My Life in France”, a book Child wrote with her nephew Alex Prud’homme , that was published after her death in 2004 at age 91.

Julie & Julia is about much more than just cooking, food and Child’s pioneering role in shaping the way Americans eat: It’s an account of two women, generations and decades apart, determined to cook their way out of their dull lives and discover their true selves in gourmet cooking.

Get a taste of Julia Child’s cooking with these 5 delicious recipes from the Recipes Cookbook, an online culinary resource for cooks and food lovers.

JULIA CHILD’S BRAISED WHOLE FILLET OF SALMON
Ingredients
1 Large carrot and onion cut into neat 1/4-inch dice
2 Or 3 tender celery stalks, neatly diced
2 Tbs. Unsalted butter
SEASONINGS: Salt
Freshly ground pepper and dried tarragon
2 lb. Skinless fillet of salmon, about 1/2 inch thick
1 1/2 c. Dry white French vermouth

Directions
For 6 to 8 servings. Special equipment suggested: A no-stick frying pan for the diced vegetables; tweezers or pliers to remove bones; a lightly buttered baking dish that will just hold the fish comfortably (or an ovenproof baking and serving platter, or, lacking either, cut the fish in half crosswise, and reassemble it after cooking the vegetables to mask the surgery); buttered wax paper to cover fish. THE AROMATIC VEGETABLES: Cook the diced vegetables slowly in the butter until quite tender but not browned- about 10 minutes. Season lightly with salt, pepper, and a big pinch of dried tarragon. PREPARING THE FISH: Go over the salmon carefully with your fingers to detect any little bones; pull them out with tweezers or pliers. Score the skin side of the fish. Dust with salt and pepper, and place best side up in the baking dish. ASSEMBLING: Spread the cooked diced vegetables over the fish, and pour 1/2 inch of vermouth around them. Cover the fish with the wax paper, buttered side down. *Ahead-of-time note: May be assembled an hour or more ahead to this point; cover and refrigerate. BAKING: 12 to 15 minutes at 350F: Preheat the oven to 350F. Set the fish in the lower middle level, and, when beginning to bubble lightly, baste the surface with the liquid in the dish, basting several times again until the flesh feels lightly springy to the touch. Remove from the oven, and, holding the fish in place with a pot cover, drain the cooking juices into a saucepan. Slide the fish onto a hot platter; cover and keep warm while making the sauce. VARIATIONS: AU NATURAL: Braised Salmon Served in Its Own Juices: Rapidly boil down the cooking juices in the saucepan until almost syrupy. Pour them over the fish and vegetables, and serve. AROMATIC WHITE BUTTER SAUCE: The usual and lovely butter sauce of modern cookery can be as rich and buttery as you wish-from 3 or 4 Tbs. to half a pound. Using the preceding boiled-down juices as a base, proceed to beat in the butter as in the lemon-butter sauce for the broiled fish on page 83. WINEY CREAM SAUCE: A reasonable and equally delectable compromise is a light veloute sauce made with the cooking juices, then boiled down with cream, as follows. Cook together 2 1/2 Tbs butter and 3 Tbs flour 2 minutes without coloring; off heat whisk in the hot braising juices and 1 cup heavy cream. Boil slowly until reduced to 1 1/2 cups; season carefully. (Full details for veloute sauce are on page 272.) Either serve the fish cloaked in its vegetables and accompany with the sauce, or fold the vegetables into the sauce and spoon over the fish. From The Way to Cook by Julia Child, Alfred Knopf, 1989. ISBN 0-394-53264-3.

BACON QUICHE LORRAINE
Ingredients
1 Unbaked 9-in pastry shell
4 slices of bacon
1/4 c. Finely chopped onion
1 1/2 c. Shredded cheddar cheese
4 ea. Eggs slightly beaten
1 1/3 c. Milk
3/4 Tsp. Salt
1/2 Tsp. Dry mustard
1/8 Tsp. White pepper
1/8 Tsp. Ground nutmeg

Directions
Preheat oven to 450 degrees. Bake pastry shell for five minutes. Remove from oven. Set oven temperature to 400 degrees. Fry bacon until crisp; drain, and crumble. Cook onion until transparent in small amount of bacon fat. Drain. Sprinkle bacon and onion over bottom of pastry shell. Cover with cheese. Blend together eggs, milk, and seasonings. Pour over cheese. Bake for 10 minutes. Reduce heat to 350 and bake for 30 to 35 minutes longer or until a knife inserted in center comes out clean.

HEARTY VEGETABLE BARLEY SOUP
Ingredients
1/2 lb. Lean ground beef
1/2 c. Chopped onion
2 Garlic cloves; minced
7 c. Water
16 oz. No-salt-added tomatoes, undrained, chopped
1/2 c. Medium QUAKER Barley*
1/2 c. Sliced celery
1/2 c. Sliced carrots
2 Beef bouillon cubes
1 Tsp. Basil
1 Bay leaf
1/4 Tsp. Black pepper
9 oz. Frozen mixed vegetables

Directions
In 4-quart saucepan or Dutch oven, brown ground beef. Add onion and garlic. Cook until onion is tender; drain. Add remaining ingredients except frozen vegetables. Bring to a boil. Reduce heat to low; cover. Simmer 40 minutes, stirring occasionally. Add frozen vegetables; cook 10 to 15 minutes or until vegetables and barley are tender. Add additional water if soup becomes too thick upon standing. Ten 1-cup servings.

JULIA CHILD’S CHOCOLATE MOUSSE
Ingredients
8 oz. Sweet or semi sweet baking chocolate, melted with 1/4 c. Strong coffee
3 oz. Unsalted butter (6 Tbs.)
3 Egg yolks
1 c. Heavy cream (make sure it’s the heavy variety)
3 Egg whites
1/4 c. Instant (finely ground) sugar
OPTIONAL: Whipped cream

Directions
Beat the soft butter into the smoothly melted chocolate. One by one, beat in the egg yolks. Beat the cream over ice until it leaves light traces on the surface. Beat the egg whites until they form soft peaks. While beating, sprinkle in the sugar by spoonfuls and continue beating until stiff shining peaks are formed. Scrape the chocolate mixture down the side of the egg-white bowl, and delicately fold in the whipped cream. Turn the mousse into attractive serving bowls. Cover and chill several hours. You may wish to decorate the mousse with swirls of whipped cream, or to pass whipped cream separately. From The Way to Cook by Julia Child, Alfred Knopf, 1989. ISBN 0-394-53264-3.

CREME BRULEE
Ingredients
4 each egg yolks
3 Tbs. sugar
Pinch of salt
2 cup table cream
1 Tsp. vanilla
Sliced peaches, fresh
Strawberries, fresh

Directions
Beat egg yolks until slightly thickened. Gradually add sugar and a pinch of salt. Scald table cream and pour slowly into egg mixture, stirring. Add vanilla and pour into baking dishes. Set them in a pan with 1 inch of water and bake at 350 degrees for 45 mins to 1 hour.
Test with clean knife. Can be prepared a day ahead. Sprinkle top with sugar and/or top with fresh sliced peaches or strawberries.

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The Hurt Locker

The Hurt Locker brings the audience to the edge with an almost schizophrenic style of cinematography that is the best example of the never ending tension of war we have ever on the screen.  Director Kathryn Bigelow is best known to us for directing Point Break (it has taken years of therapy to admit this in public) but the star of this movie is definitely cinematographer Barry Ackroyd and his cameras: A Super16mm with Aaton XTR-Prods and A-Minimas and Canon zoom lenses, with Fuji 250D 8663 and 500T 8673 film and the Phantom HD camera for the great high-speed material.

Kippur

Kippur is a great Israeli war movie that Roy Elghanyan, our former special forces neighbor turned Krav Maga Trainer to the stars, brought by our office the other day.  Set during the 1973 Yom Kippur War, in which Israel was attacked by Syria and Egypt on the holiest day of the Jewish calendar (imagine if the Japanese attacked Pearl Harbor on Christmas day), there’s very little plot to the movie; just death.  One character goes straight from making love to his girlfriend onto a battlefield of brutally disfigured bodies.  No heroic speeches or charges in this movie, just shots of destruction followed by the effect they cause on human bodies.

Stalingrad

Stalingrad embarrasses Saving Private Ryan with its accurate portrayal of German soldiers during the horrific siege of Stalingrad.  There are a few instances of humanity in Stalingrad — like a enemy soldiers exchanging food, but these are exceptions. Stalingrad’s visual power comes from  portraying  of terrible reality of war – decapitations, amputations, horrible deaths, and mutilations. Nothing is gratuitous; everything is effective. Director Joseph Vilsmaier puts us in the trenches with men, who he would like to show are no different from soldiers on any side in any war.  There is no doubt that German soldiers suffered during the war, but if I have an issue with this movie it is that they are still Nazi’s who invaded the country and committed horrible atrocities everywhere they went.  Trying to pawn responsibility for this on the SS is the weak link in this movie.

Ozzies Being Ozzies

The Odd Angry Shot is a great Australian movie set during Vietnam.  War sucks, hardly an original theme, but showing how you get through it with the help of your mates is what makes this movie work.  Not quite an Australian version of Platoon, but a movie with great performances through and through.  Combat scenes don’t really shine, but then again it was shot for $600,000.
Sadly  our UPS guy was slow this week, but  we hope to have a part two to this list shortly.

The Girlfriend Experience isn’t about sex.
It’s about a more troubling subject: money. Having a chance to hire that most intimate of orifices—an ear—some New York tycoons spend their expensive sessions with Chelsea moaning about their soon to be lost jobs. (“Thanks for listening” become the new “Thank you, ma’am.”) Set in October 2008, the film is suffused with career struggle. Everyone in this affluent world is surprised out of their consumerist torpor by the giant flushing sound of the Lehman Brothers collapse. Chelsea, too, has career worries. A younger escort seems to be scooping her regular clients. In a movie with no serious sex acts, save for one odd orgasm at the finale, it’s hard to tell how far down the line Chelsea’s boyfriend, Chris (Chris Santos), goes. Chris is there for consolation, and he upbraids Chelsea when she breaks an important rule of their otherwise open relationship. What’s clear is that Chris’ body is not really his own. One of the film’s few funny scenes has a gym manager wheedling Chris into wearing a corporate logo T-shirt on the job.

Does it all work? In the real world, even a Chelsea could have held her own against a predatory webmaster (channeling Laird Cregar, film critic Glenn Kenny plays a horny, back-stabbing charlatan—the one definitely amateur performance in this movie).
Soderbergh visualizes Chelsea’s world as largely bereft of natural surfaces. Mostly, we’re inside expensive boutiques—a parody of the shopping montages in Pretty Woman. Later, the dutiful record of Chelsea’s clothes, tricking and shoe-shopping are typed into a computer, against a background of McCain talk as the election rolls around. (“If I hear ‘maverick’ one more time, I’m going to throw up.”) A double-bill of this with sex, lies and videotape would reveal much about Soderbergh’s obsession with sex as performance. Loads of prostitutes onscreen, and yet there are so few films that get an authentic sense of the trade, such as might be picked up from blogs or diaries (just like the one Chelsea is writing). But it is acting; the bug-eyed sunglasses, the overmoisturized face and Chelsea’s chilly poise are all stances meant to alienate, not titillate.